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I would never show up at his work and encroach on his business, and if I did I would expect he would address it with me.Likewise, I would hope that he would never encroach on our personal life, and if he does then I have the right to address him professionally, as it now involves me.Also, what are appropriate boundaries for drinking alone with the boss on a business trip? (Number of drinks, time of night, etc.) I would say nothing past p.m. This isn’t going to be the answer I think you thought it would be. Your girlfriend is in charge of managing her relationship with her boss and her relationship with you.You emailed your girlfriend’s boss to complain that that he encroached on your personal relationship by socializing with her on a business trip and because she didn’t call you until later that night? Your actions and your stance here are frighteningly controlling and wrong. I am no fan of getting drunk with coworkers, let alone with bosses, but it’s up to her to decide how she manages her relationships with colleagues.

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You owe her a massive apology, but more importantly you owe her (and future partners, because this is a break-up level offense) some serious soul-searching about boundaries and control.

The scariest part of this letter is that you don’t realize that it’s scary at all.

If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Plus, she texts and calls late–sometimes after p.m., and that pisses me off because I feel they both aren’t respecting our relationship.

You can also follow along on Facebook and Instagram. He calls her at work and they talk for about an hour. He has talked to her in front of me, but they usually talk when I’m not home. But I’m still hurt because I feel like boundaries aren’t being respected. And there’s a reason he can’t let go of her, and there’s a reason you feel like the bond you have with him isn’t as strong as the one he has with his ex. And he probably doesn’t care about you as much as he cares about her. Why did I feel like he cared more about her than me?

You can read about me here, peruse the archives here and read popular posts here. I do trust him…it’s just I’m scared — of their bond, their connection, that emotional support they still have. At first he said they would only talk once in a while, but after the first day they have been talking two to three times a week. That said, your concerns are totally valid and your boyfriend is being disrespectful of you and your relationship by keeping up the constant communication with his ex. If they were, why couldn’t he stop talking to her all the time?


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