There’s no way around it: relationships are hard work—no matter what your personality type is.
Everyone needs to get certain things out of a relationship to feel satisfied.
And if you’re an INFP personality type like me, you probably have a deep need for harmony and emotional connection.
Unfortunately, I didn’t always have harmony in my marriage.
“Clash of the Titans” would have been a good way to describe our relationship at times.
Thankfully, my husband was awesome enough to take a personality test so we could figure out how to work together better.
We discovered that we’re complete opposites—he’s an ESTJ.
My husband thinks in terms of logic and reason, while I live in a world of feelings, intuition, and personal values.I often said to him, “I don’t have a logical answer for this, it’s just a feeling I have.” For a long time, he couldn’t wrap his mind around this.But now he understands that’s how I think as an INFP.Learning that my husband and I processed things differently because of our different personality types was like throwing our marriage a life preserver.So, if you’re in a relationship with an INFP, here are some things you should know:1. Most of the decisions we make are based on how the outcome will make us feel. To us, items from our past are not just material objects but symbols that represent moments in time or pieces of our heart.Don’t ask us to explain our logical reasons for choosing something as most of the time we won’t have any. We’re so in touch with the emotional side of life that we may feel the suffering of others (including fictional characters) as if it were our own. We may feel like we’re giving away a part of ourselves if we have to get rid of a treasured item.If it makes us feel good and fits with our personal values, it’s a good decision in our book.2. If we’re watching a sad movie or reading a sad book, we may cry. Trust me, if you empathized with other people’s emotions the way we do, you’d cry too! So, if we keep a birthday card from 15 years ago or that box of stuff from our college days, please try to understand.4.Even if you don’t understand, please honor our decision-making process.INFPs can have a hard time making decisions because we see many different ways a situation could go.As mentioned above, we do things because it feels right and fits with our inner values and beliefs.If our partner questions our motives or puts pressure on us to decide quickly, we may get defensive.