As if dating isn’t enough of a pain in the ass, starting a new relationship is even worse. I know I’m supposed to impress them too, but I’m still busy getting to know him. The moment I’m finally his girlfriend, I’m swamped with doubts and fears. I know what I’m hiding and I’d like to just get all his flaws and secrets out now versus waiting. I guess everyone thinks it’s not going to last, so they need to meet him from the moment I say I have a boyfriend. This early on, they could very well ruin the relationship. I’d love to relax and just see how things go, but no, I’m supposed to know during the first month or two what our future looks like. I don’t know if we have long term potential or how many kids we might want. There are just some things I don’t trust him enough to talk about yet.
I realize this should make me happy, but the first three months of a relationship are hell. Why does it always seem to happen when I’m with my new boyfriend? I wouldn’t want them to not get their two cents in. Usually, there’s enough trust by the fourth month to be more open, but I feel like I’m walking on eggshells the first three. I’m great at being myself, but not so much at impressing people with the best me. While I might be able to relax more and more with him, I’m still in the meeting everyone he knows phase.
They seem like fun, but it’s this painful whirlwind that doesn’t let me relax and actually enjoy being with a guy until several months in. I don’t think gassing him in the first three months is going to make him love me more. Frankly, I don’t want to introduce him to everyone yet. start making the rounds, I keep worrying what they’ll think of him. Plus, I’d like him to see me as much better than his exes. I feel like these first three months are the same as starting a new job.
Here’s why those first three months are so hard: It all seems so fake. You have this probation period where if you’re not good enough, you get let go without any real explanation.
Think about it — we’re both trying to impress each other, which means trying to be our best 100% of the time. I don’t like feeling as if I have to either make it or break it in just three months time. I realize his friends and family are going to talk about me after meeting me, but couldn’t they at least wait until I’m out of earshot. They start whispering when they think I’m not looking, but I still have ears.
I feel like a prized show dog being paraded in front of the judges. It’s like we’re constantly studying and analyzing one another. Since we’re trying to be our best selves, I’m more curious than ever to know what he’s hiding. We might be together, but we’re still working on that initial trust.
While I love the extra time, I hate what it does to the rest of my schedule.I still have work, hobbies, friends and family to deal with.Mixing him in and making sure he gets the majority of my attention isn’t easy. For some reason, parents seem to understand, but friends don’t.I would think they’d get it since they perform the same disappearing act when they’re seeing someone new.Still, it’s not until I’m finally able to make more time for them that they stop acting like jealous children. While I’m not one of those eat a light salad kind of girls during a first date, I still don’t want to eat the world’s messiest burger until I’m sure he’s sticking around a while.I want to be able to eat junk food, make a mess and belch my approval when I’m finished.Trust me, most guys don’t find this impressive until at least several months in. SPONSORED: THIS AWESOME DATING APP WILL SHOW YOU REVIEWS OF YOUR MATCHES BEFORE YOU MEET!Going on dates without knowing whether your match looks like his photos or whether he’s a good conversationalist can feel like a waste of time.Dating app Once is changing that — it lets users leave reviews of their matches to create more transparency and an overall better dating experience.Download the app and see how much better dating can be! Crystal Crowder Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger.She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style.