Actress Evan Rachel Wood recently took to Twitter to air her frustrations over the MPAA forcing a cunnilingus scene out of her upcoming movie "Charlie Countryman." She found it a bit odd that a consensual scene of sexual pleasure was considered inappropriate while extreme, murderous violence was not: "The scene where the two main characters make 'love' was altered because someone felt that seeing a man give a woman oral sex made people 'uncomfortable' but the scenes in which people are murdered by having their heads blown off remained intact and unaltered." Wood also speculated that the scene would not have been cut if it had shown a woman going down on a man.She is utterly correct: Hollywood is sexist and sex-phobic.I'm not going to use this as an excuse to rant on the topic, though -- been there, done that.Instead, let's take a moment to recognize the best moments in cine-lingus history, shall we? It isn't the steamiest -- the action between John Krasinski's character, Burt, and Maya Rudolph's Verona all happens under the sheets and out of view -- but it's the awkward, fumbling nature of their romp that makes it notable.
She is so unimpressed by his lingual moves that in the middle of it she says, "Did you hear a train? As Rebecca Traister wrote in Salon at the time of the 2003 movie's release, "a mustachioed and criminally attractive Mark Ruffalo takes recovering-moppet [Meg] Ryan to bed, plants her on her stomach, spreads her legs, and performs oral sex on her from behind in a scene that lasts a breathtaking two minutes." Finally, oral sex gets more than a couple seconds of screen time.
In one of the film's spookier scenes -- which is saying something -- Mila Kunis goes down on Natalie Portman.
That in and of itself isn't the creepy part: It's that Kunis repeatedly transforms into Portman throughout this nightmare sequence. Kevin, played by Thomas Ian Nicholas, attempts to get out of the doghouse by going down on Tara Reid's Vicki -- with her parents downstairs.
When her dad comes upstairs to tell her that dinner is ready, she yells with perfect timing, "I'm coming! "A youthful Michael Douglas hiking a completely naked Sharon Stone's leg over his shoulder while maintaining scary-sexy eye contact?
They just don't make Hollywood sex scenes like this anymore.