, like, “a guy told me he was looking for a girlfriend by next year so he’d have someone to split rent with.” Then there was the charmer who told his date about the time he “got wasted, peed and mopped it up with his clothes, and then wore them.” Um, yeah., we’d like to assume you know better than to make mistakes like these.Still, navigating the world of online dating can definitely be tricky—what kind of message is clever, but not creepy?What the hell are you supposed to say about yourself in your profile? The scenario: “A guy sent me a message saying that he wanted to meet up for a drink, but when I asked when he was free, he said he was ‘going out of town’ for the next two weeks and that we should schedule something after.” — Andrea, 31The problem..the solution: If you tell a girl you’re “going out of town,” she’s going to assume you’re busy dating other women.By the time your date comes around, she’ll already have lost interest or have found someone more attentive.If you really are going away, wait until you get back to ask her out.A good rule of thumb: if you aren’t available for a date within 7 days of sending the message, don’t send it.
Women are easily scared away online, so you should avoid saying anything remotely controversial or predatory.Stick to neutral subjects — like mentioning a common ground you share based on something you read in her profile.The scenario: “It’s so annoying and a major turn-off whenever a guy has something in his profile like ‘still not sure about online dating but...’” — Randi, 25The problem..the solution: We get it.A lot of you are self-conscious about the fact that you’re on a dating site.But obviously if she’s on the site too, you’re both in the same boat.By pointing out your hesitations, she’s bound to assume you’re an insecure person. If you feel so inclined to explain yourself, wait to do it when you’ve met in person — and be confident about your reasons for joining.The scenario: “I got a message that said ‘Obviously you’re cute, but I’m just having trouble believing that this is actually you because you seem too good to be true.My buddy thinks you’re real and now we have a bet going. ” — Kristin, 26The problem..the solution: Aside from the fact that this is a pathetic pickup line, it’s certainly never going to work. The scenario: “I went on a few dates with a guy I met online, and I eventually decided we weren’t compatible, so I was honest with him.A lot of women are looking for something serious and have no interest in participating in your immature wager with friends. He refused to accept it and continued to message me listing all the reasons why we’d be great together.” — Ashley, 30The problem..the solution: No matter how strongly you feel about your potential with a woman you meet online, accept the break-up gracefully.There’s obviously a reason she didn’t think it would work out, so why keep trying to pursue someone who is clearly not interested in you?Instead, channel your energy into meeting someone else. A general rule: once you’ve sent four messages back and forth, someone should ask someone out — preferably the man. The scenario: “I was really into someone I went on a few dates with, until he told me he was taking down his online dating profile and he wanted me to do the same.” — Jess, 34The problem..the solution: Nothing will scare a girl faster than putting that kind of pressure on her too early into the relationship.